You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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