i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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