To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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