it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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