He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
