So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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