dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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