Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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