I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
