Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
