oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
