I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
