discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need to sanitize my soul.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
