you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
