If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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