I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
