Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
