How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
