how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize