im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
