Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
