The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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