big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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