On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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