haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
