i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize