its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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