He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
