508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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