In the future we'll all be gay
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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