I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
