did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
