he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
