Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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