How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
