Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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