life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
