Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
