i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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