She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
