Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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