we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
