i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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