whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
