you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
