What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
