she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
