We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
