ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize