Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
