I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize