He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
