also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
