im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
