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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
