we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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