3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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