I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
