Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
