your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
