I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize