her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
