Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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