This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
