And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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