woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
